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Yea, Bi/pan erasure can be shitty. This is me poem-ing about it. Ps. This took a ZILLION tries to all get in one take. Validate my efforts by giving it a like? Stalk me! (Or don’t, I don’t…

25 Responses to “YOU’RE NOT GAY ENOUGH.”

  1. Ashley Mardell says:

    Yea. Bi/pan erasure can be shitty. This is me poem-ing about it.

    Ps. This took a ZILLION tries to all get in one take. Validate my efforts
    by giving it a like?

  2. Ashley Mardell says:
  3. MissFenderr says:

    Wow. You just put everything I’ve ever felt/experienced into perfect words.
    Thank you once again for another beautiful video. 

  4. Chase vs Everything says:

    So damn good Ashley. Also, one take!? I can barely remember what I had for
    breakfast let alone something so impeccably worded. Love your work x

  5. CorrutedRoses says:

    i kinda told my mom i was bi/pan or whatever. she was getting on me because
    she thought i went to some 17 year old boy from school instead of going to
    my friends house (btw i was not but she does not believe me) out of anger
    and frustration i told her ” i would rather have a girlfriend then a
    boyfriend but dont hold this to me before i figer all the shit out!” she
    seems fine with it and im scared she will tell my dad and i dont know if
    hes ok with it but now that i told it just adds to my anger,frustration and
    general just not wanting exist. when i think about i get frustrated at my
    self and just want to punch my self in the face for telling her and crawl
    under my blankets for the rest of my life 

  6. Stello Arts says:

    Funny how you are shouting all out about being equal, but if we do start
    treating you equal you will cry. Suck it up, this is life.

  7. HeapOfBones says:

    Wow, this vid hit me somewhere deep in my brain, and in a good way. As a
    pansexual male who has never really “properly” fallen in love with anyone
    not-female, the feelings of doubt and uncertainty about whether or not I am
    gay enough are a common occurrence. I might be going a bit offtopic here,
    as no one else but myself has yet to question or invalidate my identity,
    but the message still made me feel warm inside. So for what it’s worth, I
    wanted to thank you Ashley. Thank you for making my day a lot better.

  8. GirlfriendsTV says:

    i love slam poetry! this was fantastic

  9. Skyler June says:

    I feel for you Bi/Pan guys… Sometimes its really difficult for people to
    understand where you are coming from. My straight friends are always like I
    hate bi people just choose a side already. I try to explain to them that
    some people just love people without really caring about the gender just
    attraction for all genders and people. At the same time as a gay woman it
    wouldn’t be ideal for me to date a bi/pan person because I find it really
    stressful to have to worry about cheating or me competing with both genders
    or everything else in between. Nevertheless I fully respect bi/pan people
    and I think that we all have the right to love who we want. Also I believe
    that most people don’t get bis/pans because they are like since you like
    both sexes why don’t you choose the “normal” one. Gay people don’t have a
    choice in the matter so they have to get through whatever difficulty comes
    with having a same sex relationship because they can’t do otherwise. Anyway
    as I said all people have the right to love who they want and not
    compromise. Finally I think you are absolutely right about not being gay
    enough and all that notion. Don’t think that just bi/pan people have a
    problem of fitting in. Try being a non stereotyping lesbian. Just because I
    don’t look “gay” doesn’t mean I’m not. There are many stereotypes in the
    LGBTQ community and its time that we break them after all our community is
    suppose to represent freedom and having the right to be who you want to be
    while loving who you want to love. I hope this comment made sense. Thank
    you for the lovely video! 

  10. Davidoutt. says:

    God I love spoken word and this was absolutely amazing. I LOVE THIS A LOT.

  11. Morgan Finnell says:

    I had no idea how much I needed this video. I’m so glad at least you have
    created your own community where everyone feels comfortable with themselves
    and their identities and even when we aren’t accepted in the LGTBQ
    community we will always have you to remind that we are accepted somewhere.
    There is love and understanding for us, just not always in the places we
    look. Thank you Ashley Mardell.

  12. BetterLifeAhead says:

    Thank you. I hate that suddenly I’m “straight” because I’m dating a guy.
    And how the LGBTQ community rejects me for it. Am I the only one seeing the
    B in there?

  13. serenaisnotamazing says:

    Thank you Ashley. I am pan and gender queer, and I don’t feel like I really
    fit anywhere. I am told that I’m probably bi, probably cis, probably just
    dreaming up this crap and straight as a ruler. A phase. But I know what I
    feel and I feel is so strongly and others cannot tell me where I fit so I
    just continue to float along, outside the walls, gates, boundaries. Not in
    the homo kingdom, or their neighboring hetero; is the forest and rivers
    between them. And I’m surrounded by others exactly like me, but we never
    speak to each other. We are all isolated. Because no one else there will
    speak out. No one build our own kingdom. And you have just laid the first
    brick down. I hope everyone follows. <3 great video, keep up the great

  14. Pano T says:


  15. catlife333 says:

    Something that I think we could do is if we stopped using gay as a synonym
    for lgbt as with “gay bars” or “gay pride” or the “Gay Straight Alliance,”
    and we started saying “queer pride” or “lgbt bars” or “Queer Straight
    Alliance?” because they dont unintentionally leave out middle of the
    spectrum folks. Many people are unaware of sexualities besides just gay and
    straight because of how hardly recognized they are, so I think this would
    better inform people too.

  16. Georgia Novak says:

    I agree with you, it’s ridiculous that people think you have to look a
    certain way to be queer. Saying that, I think you need to say queer instead
    of gay because they moment you’re a female and have feelings for a male
    you’re not gay. If you say you don’t feel queer enough, or that people
    don’t think you’re queer because you’re dating a man that’s 100% fine.
    You’re not gay enough because you’re not gay but you are definitely queer
    enough. I hope this makes sense and please know I’m not having a go at you
    even in the slightest.

  17. Kiki Vlogs says:

    This was absolutely beautiful.

  18. Sara Fox says:

    I am a Heteroromantic Demisexual ( Correct me if I said it wrong ;-; ) and
    I KNOW that bi/pan people have the same value as any other human being
    regardless or sexuality and race. Bi/Pan people are not gay enough? Excuse
    me, but those are sexualities that deserves just as much respect as Hetero
    and Homo. ( Again, please correct me if I said something wrong. )

  19. musicVamp527 says:

    Good for you, Ashley! And you speaking up about all this, probably will
    help so many others out there come to the same conclusion that you did. You
    are incredibly talented, and a deep thinker and a fantablulous creator. Its
    things like this that remind me why you are one of my favorite people on
    this weird website called YouTube. You tell it like it is, and speak for
    yourself and so many others, in the best ways. 

  20. Macario Patrick says:

    The clap you made in the beginning and that effect made my ears pop with
    Bowers & Wilken’s P7s on at highest volume and HD video quality. Besides

  21. Kyle Marshall says:

    This was excellent! I wiped a tear away at the end.

    The world is in a funny place right now. A tipping point has been reached
    where in North America gay people are being accepted more openly than ever
    before. However with this tolerance we also have the struggle of those who
    don’t quite fit into the easy dualities of gay and straight. Bisexuals,
    pansexual, transsexuals have a long way to go for their acceptance and I
    believe this video is one of the stepping stones towards that.

  22. Erin F says:

    Stop assuming.
    Stop being confusing.
    We are not as confused
    As you are amusing.
    Don’t judge a book by it’s cover
    Judge a cover by it’s book
    Or better yet,
    Don’t judge at all
    Because it just makes us crumble
    And fall.
    The more you yell
    The longer it takes
    For us to get along.
    Forget the mistakes
    The self-pity will last.
    Look to the future
    Not to the past.
    Look to the future
    And to the moon!
    Know that it
    Will all get better soon
    If you don’t assume.

    ~Erin Feeney, 2015

  23. Mary Chapman says:

    Ashley, I am entirely with you. I have been with a man for 8 years! I love
    him and want to marry him! BUT I am pan. I don’t see a reason that I am any
    less LGBT than that of my friends who are gay. Just because I have never
    been with a woman for a long period of time does not stop me from being
    what I am. It is very frustrating and I don’t talk about it but hope to be
    more open about it from here out :)

  24. Jynix says:

    Damn. This hit me harder than I thought it would. I found myself crying at
    the end.
    I realized I was bi when I was 20. I had had a “phase” in middle school,
    but scoffed it off, because no one is bi, it’s just wanting to be gay,
    right? And now, I’m 22 and I’m openly bi, but I’m in a relationship with a
    man and have been for three years, so whenever I tell people they just look
    at me, as if to say “yeah, sure. You just want to be interesting. You just
    want to be different. You’re not gay enough for me.” I have never dared to
    be in any gay communities because of this, because I’m “kind of straight”.
    It’s not right. No one is allowed to define my sexuality, but me. No one
    has the right to discuss anyone else’s sexual preferences, because it’s
    theirs and theirs alone.
    Thank you so much, Ashley! This was truly wonderful!

  25. Ankur Bhaskar says:

    I love this!!!

    I’m 18 years old, and bi/poly/pan, and even though I’m very much
    heteronormative (haven’t seen a seen a single episode of The L-Word in my
    lifetime, though I do like sports, and know MANY Tegan and Sara songs), the
    truth is, if a guy is androgynous to a certain degree in one or more
    certain ways, then I’ll be more than willing to get to know them to date

    Never been to a pride parade before, though one day I’d really like to go
    one. :D


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